


The tapes of Dianella Hope Potter.

by TheAutumn



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Female Harry Potter, Grief/Mourning, Luna Lovegood is a Good Friend, Multi, harry potter and 13 reasons why, she left them her tapes, some hope at the end?, true friend Neville
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-01-22 14:21:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAutumn/pseuds/TheAutumn
Summary: Dianella Hope Potter killed herself, well kind of. Was it too late?She brew the potions herself and drank it without second thought. Or..did she?Well, here is the tapes. The story she so desperately wanted to be told.What the recipients will do? What Dianella wanted or what she needed?
Relationships: Harry Potter/Bill Weasley, Harry Potter/Charlie Weasley
Comments: 18
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know what to tell you. I know I have another work to finish, but I was watching the tv show yet again, so I decided to mix the Potter universe and the 13 reasons why tv.

Chapter 1.

Charlie Weasley was currently drinking himself to death.

Death. Really. He would have laughed, how dramatically ironic. Because it was what she did to herself. Wasn't it? 

She bloody killed herself. Brew the fucking potion and drank it. Wasn't she shit at it, if Snape's opinion was to be believed. 

He would have been proud, if he didn't look dead on his feet himself. His face so pale and eyes dull.

Now, Charlie could understand Ron, Hermione, Remus, Sirius, Albus and Minerva, his own family and so many others. But why him? Wasn't it what he wanted? Snape hated Ella.

And yet..the Professor shut himself in his lab and didn't even answer to the Headmasters calls. Did he change the side? Well, the biggest Hope (funny, it was her middle name) was dead. 

She didn't have a funeral. Apparently it was how she wanted it. Didn't want any of them to attend.That was what the goblins said. Not a single person knew where Dianella found her last home.

He raised his glass and drank it all, burning his throat. He welcomed the pain. Maybe the physical pain will shut the fuck up his bleeding soul. 

He fucking loves her. Love. Present terms. It will always be present terms.

Every time he closed his eyes he could see her mischivious smile, the fire in her green eyes. When did all of that died? Why didn't they notice? Why didn't he?

His train of thoughts were broken by the familiar snowy owl.

Since that day, almost two month ago the owl was restless, without her beautiful mistress. But today, she was here. Hedwig landed on the table and dropped a small package. It looked like it was made by hand, wrapped in the green paper. 

Green. He loved it and he hated it.

Hedwig didn't wait for anything. She didn't give Charlie a second look. Did the owl blame him as much as he blamed himself?

Yet, Charlie couldn't ignore it. Something was nagging him. He needed to know.

He opened it.

It was a small box and inside it were muggle taps and muggle player.

What the actual fuck? He wasn't in the mood for some silly songs. He was in the mood for running away as far as he could. and being alone with his grief for the rest of his life.

And yet..and yet he put the headphones on and pressed play. He never expected what came out, however. That voice..that voice he loved so much.

Cassette one. Side A:

_Hey there, dear friends and family. Did you miss me? Not really I suppose. Why would you? You never really knew me. Maybe you are happy to get rid of me. No, don't get me wrong, I bet you all are furious that I did it before old Voldy business was taken cared of. But you see, I don't give a shit. It was my decision. I was never allowed one. In my bloody life everything was decided by someone. But no more. I say to the hell. But I am not done with you..just yet._

Charlie's heart stopped.

What? Happy to get rid of you? What in the name of Marlin's beard? We cared for you. I cared for you. I fucking loved you.

With his shaking hand, he pressed play again. It was a message from Ella. He needed to listen. He knew. Whatever it was. But her voice, the voice that gave him so much joy. It was bitter now. Sarcastic and hurt. What the hell happened?

_Yeepp, thats me. Dianella Hope Potter. My voice in your heads right now. Get comfy, we are going to be together a bit longer._

_She chuckled._

Charlie felt sick.

_"If you are listening this tape that means I am dead. And you are gong to finally do, what I so desperately wanted from all of you - listen. You are going to know the story of my life. And no, you don't have a bloody idea about me or my life. You never did. Never bothered to find out. You don't know the real me. With all my demons, dreams or fears. But today, today you will get rid of that idea you have about "how the hero supposed to be". Today I will have what I wanted. Meet the only one and real- JUST Dianella. The human fucking being."_

The more she talked, the emptier Charlie felt. I knew you! Ella, I fucking knew. I saw you for who you were. Never wished you to be anything or anyone else.

_"You see, darlings, if you are on these tapes, it means you are one of the reasons why I am dead."_

Stop. Stop.Stop.

What did I do? No.

Charlie was shaking. He couldn't take it. His eyes burning with the tears. 

He would gladly take her place. Anything for her to live. Why?

But if he was..he needs to know. He has to.

Play.

_"Yep, thats right. Here you have some 15 bloody tapes. And you are going to listen to them all." she spoke clearly, calmly even.  
_

_"So clear your schedules, fellows. I was ignored by you most of my life. So I won't have it any longer. Don't even bother to deny it. Yes, I was. And maybe, just maybe if you listen to these tapes you will get it. Get what it was like to be me. Because the girl who lived was the centre of your attention and only her"_

That was it. She was talking about that bloody name. She wasn't talking about herself. About the girl Charlie loves.

_"Let us continue. We don't want to get bored, do we? There are two rules. You can follow them, I am sure. Rule number one- listen to all the tapes, in order. Number two- pass the tapes to on the next person on the list. You see? It doesn't take a genius to follow with my rules._

_But be warned! If you decided to lose, damage or destroyed my hard work before the last person hears them, another set will be sent to the prophet, all the people you know, the bloody world of ours. And I don't think you want it? Right? Even if, you did deserve it. And maybe, just maybe I want it to be heard. But it seems I really do have a hero complex. So lets give you the opportunity to avoid it all. Or and one more thing. Its not really a rule, just my suggestion. I have a map for you. It had some places marked. I would like you to visit them for me. One last time." she said it all so cheerful._

Charlie pressed stop. His hand pulling his hair. What had happened to her? Why she felt the need to do what she did? And why like that? If they were the reasons she was dead...Charlie would be the first one to pass these taps to every single person in the world. Because she deserved the truth, her truth to be heard.

He braced himself. Play.

_"Well, who is the first one? The lucky one,hm? And...it is you, my so loving aunt Tuney. Yes. Thats bloody right. I am going to say something I wanted for the last 16 years of my life. And you can't shut me up. Do you feel confused? Why are you here, you don't have anything to do with the freak, do you? You never wanted._

_I spent some time thinking who should be the first one. You, your husband or your son? But you know, it just didn't fit with them. Because while your husband was the total shit and bastard to me. He wasn't my own blood._

_Your son was. But I can't ask much from him, can I? What with you and old Verni as his role models?_

_You, dear are another matter. You were my own blood. My mothers sister and I was your last family member from the Evans side. Not that you cared. Who wants to be family with a freak? The horror! _

_Freaks deserve no love. No compassion. Nothing. That was what you told me. Every damn time I cried or wanted one kind word from you, one hug. I didn't even know what I was. You never told me.I thought my parents were two irresponsible drank people who died in a car crush. Your words were my law, after all"_

Stop.

Charlie needed to get out from the Hagrid's. He needed to be at the Privet Drive. The map marked that place, after all. He owned it to her.

With that, he took his wand and apparated. Second latter and Charlie was in front of the dull looking house. The house Ella spent her years in. From what she told it was more like a prison to her. Why no-one ever did anything about it? Why didn't he?

The lights were on. He could see a horse-looking lady in the kitchen. She wasn't doing anything. Just seating on the chair near her perfect looking table, something in her hands. From what Charlie could see, she was just staring at it.

He pressed play.

_"You know, Tuney, there was a time I so desperately wanted your love. I wanted to have a mother. I understood fast enough you were nothing but a stranger to me. Even less. Maybe a stranger wouldn't starve a child? Wouldn't allow her husband to bully a child? Certainly wouldn't allow her son beat said child. _

_Tell me, would you treat me any better if I wasn't Lily's daughter? Would I spend eleven years of my life in a tiny cupboard under the stairs? I don't have much to tell you, not really. You were the first one to break me. The first one to show me that I was alone. Absolutely fucking alone._

_"All I ever wanted from you was you love. And I could love you so much in return. You know..the fucking funny thing is..no matter what, I can't do not care about you. I asked the Headmaster for your protection. Because if that bloody Dark Lord ever found you..I would have come for you, Tuney"_

_You know, I really wanted to know two things. I don't think I will ever hear the answers. Yet, I will ask you._

_"Why?"_

_"And..did you ever love me? Maybe somehow in your own twisted way? Was there something inside you?_

_"Anyway, congrats, aunt Tuney. You did it. You got rid of me. I am dead. No more freaks in your perfect house. Have a good life free of my abnormality"._

Charlie couldn't take more. A cupboard? She never mentioned it. He felt sick. How could someone do it to a child? Did Ella mentioned it to Ron? Hermione? His mother? Why didn't they do anything about it? 

At that moment, his thoughts were broken. Petunia looked right into his eyes. She was staring at him throw the window. Face grey, eyes bloody. She stood up, by the looks of it she couldn't walk properly. She nodded her head, as trying to tell him something. 

He went to the door. Not a second later, she opened it. And stood aside, silently letting him in.

"You are not the first one to come here. But you are the first one who is looking so confused and lost." she whispered, her voice breaking. "I suppose you want to see it for yourself? She wasn't ling, you know. My niece never was a liar." she said. 

Charlie tried to find his voice, his throat tight. "I know. Ella was true to the end. She hated it, when people lied." he managed.

Her aunt face twitched, something akin recognition was in her eyes. "Ella? I see, you are Charlie Weasley, aren't you?"

His heart dropped, he felt like he was about to faint "How, how do you know me?"

She gave him a broken sort of laugh "You are the only one who called her that. It was on the tape."

By now he was shaking. His tape. She knew. Whatever he did she knew. He hated that bitch. He wanted to hurt her. But was it his right? He was on the tapes too, guilty as ever.

"Listen to the tapes. You will know what you did or didn't do. Not that it will help you, if you cared for her. Well, I don't think I have any rights to lecture anyone about caring. Do I? I killed her just like every other person. I broke a child. So, you can look where you want, stay as long as you want. I don't care anymore"

With that she want back to the kitchen, back to staring at something. Charlie moved closer to the door. She didn't even notice. She had some old photos in her shaking hands. The photo of two young girls. He recognised them both. One was Ella's aunt..and the other was Lily Evans Potter. It seems like Tuney found her heart at last. A bit too late.

Charlie felt like he couldn't breath. He didn't want to see anything here. But he needed to know, before he will leave this hell for good.

"Why?" was all he asked her.

She didn't look at him, continue to stare at the old photograph "That day. That day you were celebrating the death of the evil wizard. I lost her for good, you know. You were celebrating her death. And I was left with the letter and a toddler.A child who had her eyes. The eyes of my little sister.The one I failed. She did noting wrong. She was perfect baby girl. It was my grief, my guilt. I decided to hate her, because otherwise I was left with the bitter truth. My jealousy over my sister was the reason she walked away after our parents death. And the day she walked away was the last day I ever saw her. Your world pulled her into the war. Your world killed her. And I helped. So thats why. I knew her baby girl will be a witch, I knew she would walk away from me. I knew it all and I decided if I don't get attached, if I let hate overtake me, I wouldn't be heartbroken twice." 

Charlie didn't know what to tell. He just stared. It wasn't a good reason. It never was, Ella didn't deserve any of it.

"Did you, did you.." his voce broken, he swallowed his cries.

Petunia had tears rolling down "Did I ever love her? Does it matter now? I killed her. Because I couldn't show her that little simple thing. But if I could go back, go back in time..I would tell her, that I didn't hate her. That she wasn't a freak. That very deeply, I loved her, just as I loved Lily. But at the end non of it matter. The dead don't need it, they need our care and love when they are breaking, when they think about taking their own life because there is no Hope any more"

Maybe it was Charlie's imaginations, but by the way she pronounced "Hope" he didn't think she was meaning the world itself, but the name.

Because it was fucking true. There was no Hope anymore.

Charlie left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys:) thank you all for waiting and commenting. And I am sorry it took me so long to write something more. It was hard time for me. I wasn't ready to write anything really. Still don't know if I am. But here we are. 
> 
> I hope you are well and safe, and you know.. staying home :)

Side B.

Two days passed.

Two days since he last heard her voice. Charlie couldn't bring himself to continue. He desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Unfortunately it was his reality now.

Today was supposed to be an Order meeting. Yes, thats right. Albus was putting a good show of some sad grandfather, who understands the pain blaaa blaaa...but of course the war can't wait! No matter that the girl is bloody dead. Dead because of this attitude of his. 

It seems however, that the Order members did not share his opinion.

The kitchen was quite, table empty. His mother lost her host warm attitude and was upstairs in the room Ella shared with Ginny and Hermione. She didn't allow anybody to enter. Not even Albus.

His father was looking older by ten years, his face confused and lost.

Minerva couldn't stop sobbing and muttering to herself. Charlie could hear something like "we did..""my fault".."how could we".

Well, a bit too late for that now. Their sorry wouldn't bring her back. She needed it when she was alive and breaking, not now.

Tonks hair were bloody red.

Anger, Charlie understood.

But who was she angry with? Ella? Hell, she didn't have that right. Or was it anyone else? Did she know about the tapes?

Tonks wasn't looking at anybody, her eyes narrowed, hands shaking. Clear signs. His old friend was about to explode. 

Not a second pass and she stood up.

"Why did you call us,Dumbledore? Frankly, right now this is the last place I want to be!"

Wow. Just wow. Last name calling? Not a tiny bit of respect? Charlie looked stunned. Even more so because Mad-eye did not call her on it, but muttered something in agreement. The old soldier looked grim.

"Please, Dora, lets not argue between each other. We are all in grief right now"..

**Remus.** Charlie heard his voice, but couldn't bring himself to look at him.

"No-one asked your bloody opinion. Don't put that gentle and wise attitude!" 

**Ron.** His little brother's angry voice was loud and held so much hate.

His father did not say a word to him. Looking at the window deep in his own world.

Remus looked stunned.

Sirius just ignored them both.

Hermione was on her feet ready to start.

"Ronald! Tonks! Stop this instance! You have no respect! Dani wouldn't want this! She would want us to.."

Hell, no! Charlie thought. Don't you dare to say it. But before he could shut her, Ron beat him to it.

"Oh..is it so? And you know what she wanted, right? You always know everything, right Hermione? Can you speak with the dead now?!"

Every single one of them flinched.

"Don't you dare to mention her. Just don't. You have no right. I have no right. Remus has no right. Sirius has no right. And sure as hell Headmaster has no bloody right! We let her down after all." Ron was yelling by now.

Hermione looked like he slapped her in the face. It seems she understood her mistake. She was trembling, tears forming in her eyes. Yet no-one was there to defend her.

"Where is Severus, anyway. We are here to hear some news, are we not? Because if not I would like to get out of here."Kingsley cold voice announced. It seems the three of them, Tonks,Moody and King were on the same side here. 

Albus tried to smile. "Ah, I couldn't reach him. The news hit him hard it seems.."

He didn't finished. 

Charlie couldn't take it anymore. " Hard..is it? Hard for the one who never cared for her? Who hated her? I say dragon shit! What is it you want, Albus? I am not in the mood for this games. I am done. I am out of here.

He wasn't the only one. Without second glance Tonks, Kingsley and Moody apparated away. 

Ron hurried out of the kitchen.

Fred and George weren't even present. Actually, he hasn't seen his twin brothers at all.

He understood. Those two who were always there for her. Always, but not in the most important seconds of her life. 

Charlie knew, just like himself. George and Fred will never recover from it. Never.

He went to his room. 

It was time. Time to listen to Ella. Time to give her what she asked for. Listen to the side B.

_Well, lets see who is next. Ah, right, right._

_You know, when I first went to the Diagon Alley there was this one place I really liked. I don't know its just amazed me.Guess what it was? You won't be able to! Potions store! I could not wait for my first lesson! I thought I would love it! Yep, thats right!!_

POTIONS? He wanted to laugh. Bloody hell. He knew. He just knew whose name will be on this one. Oh, he got it now. Why Snape wasn't here. There is the difference between suspecting you were one of the people who made a person take their one life and actually knowing it. Hearing it.

He looked at the map. The old store was marked. 

Charlie apparated.

Standing in from of the small shop he pressed play.

_Little did the stupid me know how much pain that one will bring me. No, don't get me wrong. The subject wasn't bad. The problem? You. Always You. Severus Tobias Snape. Do you feel lucky? Do you feel happy? Whatever James Potter did to you, can never reach your own revenge. He died to protect me. And I am going to kill myself. Be happy. Snape. My father died in vain. At the end of the day he lost and you won. _

Charlie wanted to yell. Lost? Won? It is not a game! It was your bloody life, Ella!! Why? If you knew all that..you parents dying to protect you, Snape's hatred without any reasons..why do it? Why let him..?

_I knew nothing of this world. I was so lost and confused. Everyone around me knew my story, my parents story. Everyone but me._

He felt for her. He really did. Charlie could imagine her as a small child all alone in this world. Going from no-one to a hero. How scared and confused she felt. How much she wanted to fit in. And yet..

_And there I was at eleven in that bloody classroom of yours being called and humiliated for no reason. I felt your hate towards me, but I couldn't understand what I did wrong. I didn't even know you.And what is more..I didn't know my father either. I didn't know what their faces looked like. I had no pictures of them at that time._

Too much. It was too much for him. Charlie couldn't breath. 

_Why did you hold me responsible for something I didn't do? Had no power to stop._

Why indeed? Why Albus didn't stop it? Why any of the teachers? Not a single person stood up for her.

_For the fuck sake I was nothing but a child. Instead of being a better person, an adult you continue to hurt me every single time. Never missed a call._

_Spoiled , you said. Just like your father, you said._

Charlie laughed out loud. It was bitter. But he just couldn't hold it. She was anything but spoiled. Didn't he notice how skinny she was? How she was dressed? 

_Have you seen my place? _

_Did you change your opinion now? Or do you believe I was spoiled against all the evidence? I bet you do. Because otherwise you will have to admit that you were wrong. We can't have it, can we?_

And what if he does? Admit it? What difference would it make for you now, Ella? There is no way..

_You assaulted my mind. And don't yo dare to say you were teaching me. We both know it wasn't the right method. We both know you skipped at least two steps. You just open them raw. You saw my darkest secrets, my past. And you smirked, there was that light in your eyes. "You deserve it". _

And she believed him.Charlie just knew that Ella died a little in that moment. Being called worthless all you life by your family. And Snape..he just fed her self hate more.

_You saw them bulling me. And you laugh. _

_I can't help but ask..How did you go from a victim to a perpetrator? _

_You aren't better. And yet, before I go I want to say two things._

_I am sorry. I am sorry for what my father, Sirius did to you. _

Anger. Charlie felt pure anger. You have noting to be sorry for! Oh...Ella.

_And I am sorry Remus stood and watched. I am sorry I looked so much like him and so little like Lilly. Would it be different if I had?_

You didn't need to. You were perfect, Ella. You are you..you were. Did she felt the need to be one of her parents in order to be loved by someone?

_And one more thing. My mother. She wrote to you. But died before she could send it._

_I_ _ will ask one person who truly cares for you to pass the letter into your hands._

_In case you are wondering. She did. She forgave you._

_You didn't do what she asked. But if you allow me one last request ... If you do it...there will be no debt left between you and the Potters._

_Save him. Do not allow him to have the life you had. Help Draco._

Charlies head was hurting. Draco? As Draco Malfoy? What the hell? They were enemies until the end? He hated her. Why Draco? He couldn't understand it. What happened between Ella and Draco before she killed herself?

Charlie wanted to be angry at her, really. For trusting that little shit, but could he really? Again doing the same mistake. He felt there was a story behind it. The story he may hear. The story he must hear.

_Well, thats it. I have a potion to make. You will be proud I hope. I can brew it well._

Don't we know it. I wish you failed. You would be alive. I would be by your side and I would never let you go.

_Farewell, Professor Snape._

Merlin. He hated it. The tapes. He hated them. And the people. Charlie didn't know who will be next. But whoever it was..Charlie knew it will change his feelings for the person forever. Would it be someone from my family? 

"You would be surprise, Weasley" a cold voice of Draco Malfoy interrupted his thoughts. 

Charlie didn't realise he was speaking out loud. He looked at the boy, really looked at him.

Draco was thin and pale, his eyes bloody red, dark shadows under his eyes. He looked..he looked destroyed. 

"What..What are you talking about? Malfoy, which one..which one of my family members are there?"he asked, his voice shaking.

"You mean a part of yourself? Listen to the tapes." Was all he said.

Charlie wanted to punch his face.

"Don't look at me like this Weasley. What right do you have? Or is it jealousy?"

Draco had no mercy.

Charlie tried to compose himself. "how do you know..about the tapes? Are you..? 

"Am I on them? No. And I know what you think. Why the hell not? Right? It is me after all. I made her life hell too." 

He is not himself right now. Charlie thought. Was it that..? Draco wanted to be on them? He felt the need..fuck this shit! He didn't understand anything.

"I should be.." Malfoy continued. "I did not deserve her forgiveness. But you see, the thing is..she was a better person. She head that bloody caring personality of hers. Gave all to us, this world. And it killed her at the end. "

He held his hand before Charlie could ask the next question. The corner of his mouth forming a bitter smile.

"No, I am not the person she interested with the second box either. And if I was..I think the tapes would be out by now. Don't you agree,Weasley? Don't you fucking agree the world should know. Don't you agree we should all answer for what we did to her?" his voice was getting raw, pure grief. Tears rolling down his cheeks.

Charlie was..lost..

"Why? What..how..?" he couldn't form a question.

"How did we get to this point? What happened between us? You will know, Charlie Weasley. You will know and believe me, you will wish you didn't. Listen to the bloody tapes." 

"If you aren't on the tapes..how do you know?" Charlie asked.

"Snape. The idiot couldn't listen them alone. The moment he heard her voice. The moment he knew..he wasn't sober ever since. I hold him like a child. Well, not that it was easy. I wanted to murder the bastard myself. Still do." Draco spat. And Charlie couldn't believe it. Snape was his godfather. Everyone knew it. 

Charlie was tired and done. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't care what Malfoy wanted to do.

But he needs to know one thing.Just one question left.

"Why do you care, Malfoy?You hated her."

Charlie Weasley was ready for any kind of answer. Ready for anything really, but not for Malfoy's broken laugh.

"Hated her? I never hated her, Weasley. I didn't know how to..I..."Malfoy couldn't finish his sentence, he just stood in front of Charlie sobbing.

And that when Charlie understood.

"Draco tried to compose himself. He looked Charlie in the eyes and say something the other already knew.

"You weren't the only one in love wit her, Charlie Weasley."

With that Draco Malfoy apparated. 


End file.
